if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize