A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
