I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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