every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Found your dick twin last night
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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