Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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