So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
