Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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