Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
