It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
