I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
