I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Ladies don't puke and tell
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
