what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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