i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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