My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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