I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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