Everything about him screamed your future.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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