Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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