you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Randomize
