4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
