I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
