It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize