Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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