I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Randomize
