Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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