woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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