My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
