we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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