never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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