dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
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