the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
