There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
