Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
