first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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