Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
