What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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