its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
