In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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