Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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