i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
