I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
