I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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