i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
please come you make the beer taste better
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize