that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
