Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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