I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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