I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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