Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
