Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
