I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
