I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
