She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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