Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
