I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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