do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
