Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
false alarm, still single
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