That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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