i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
