The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize