big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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