I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
