Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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