Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
