New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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