Soap is not a condiment
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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