How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
